There’s a common thread among certain tarnished athletes, cancelled comedians, and Republican politicians. They share the idea that after enough time has passed (the actual duration varies), they’ve paid for their sins and the world owes them a chance to move on. “I’m not here to talk about the past.” “There can’t be a permanent life sentence on someone who does something wrong.” “I was allowed to believe things that weren’t true.”
It’s as if there’s a magic clock that has gone off, cleansing them of their sins. Yelled anti-Semitic slurs at a cop? 10 years on the clock. Masturbate in front of your subordinates? About a year should do it. Undermine faith in our electoral system and encourage an attack on the US Capitol? Two weeks tops.
What’s missing in all this is, of course, the actual work of seeking forgiveness. It’s recognizing the harm you’ve caused. Working on yourself to make it better. Seeking to make meaningful restitution to the hurt parties, should they elect to receive it.
I can’t think of anyone short of Maimonides whose work on this front is as clear as Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg’s. Her preferred teaching method seems to be the twitter thread, and she’s written many on this topic. One example:
It’s a thread and an idea that I frequently think of (and quote-tweet), and it’s on my mind a lot lately as the impeachment trial opens. I know, I know, expecting good faith arguments from Republican politicians is beyond a lost cause, but there’s something instructive in their hypocrisy. Before the election was no time for a trial because, “the American people should decide.” After an election was held, it was a matter of just “playing politics.” It makes you wonder, was there any time when they would have deemed it appropriate to hold the President accountable for his actions? A day? A specific hour?
As usual, McSweeney’s said it best in their piece about Marjorie Taylor Greene, “The Terrible Things I Have Said and Done My Entire Life, and Right Up Until a Few Days Ago, Do Not Represent Me As a Person.” I’m not saying forgiveness is impossible. But it takes hard work and actually seeking to repair the damage you’ve caused. Something the likes of Louis CK and Ted Cruz have no interest in doing.
Here’s some good stuff I read lately:
The Nightmare Share, by Bridget Read. I love a good roommate horror story. Hell, I’ve had my own one included in a book about bad roommates. But nothing prepared me for the story of this West Village woman who rented a room on Craigslist and just refused to ever leave. So many of my friends live in horror of potentially violating their lease, but turns out if you just REFUSE TO EVER LEAVE the law is basically powerless to do anything about it.
San Francisco Giants outfielder Drew Robinson's remarkable second act, by Jeff Passan. Thanks to Frank Della Femina (NJ’s finest realtor!) for sending in this remarkable story about a baseball player who shot himself in the head, and didn’t just live to tell the tale — he’s attempting a comeback as the (somehow) second one-eyed player in major league history.
Dungeons & Dragons Has an Antisemitism Problem, filed underthings I just learned were anti-Semitic this week:
D&D
(I already knew about the Harry Potter bankers, because they were pretty obvious.)
Boxer or spectacle? Inside the attraction of YouTuber turned fighter Jake Paul. No sport is as self-conscious as boxing. It’s the only one I can think of that’s constantly asking itself, “Is this boxing? Is this good for the sport? Will this reach the casual fan? Do we want to reach the casual fan?” Jake Paul is just one in an extremely long line of figures to trigger an existential crisis in boxing fans, and he won’t be the last.
The Shocking Meltdown of Ample Hills — Brooklyn’s Hottest Ice Cream Company This was a fascinating story that tells you, just because you start a company, doesn’t mean you should be the ones who run it.
The Downside to Life in a Supertall Tower: Leaks, Creaks, Breaks. Time for the schadenfreude portion of the reading list. Can you believe breakfast in the Michelin star restaurant isn’t free anymore? #taxtherich
How the Pandemic Left the $25 Billion Hudson Yards Eerily Deserted. Hudson Yards wasn’t much fun before it was entirely deserted, but it’s interesting to read about what’s going on in my once-and-future office space. The detail in this piece that kills me is that the school building and low-income housing that were promised are part of a second phase which presently “has no completion date.” This is exactly the same move that the Barclays Center complex pulled. If they’re not going to prioritize the actual civic good, then they should have to pay back their tax breaks. #taxtherich
Three American Mothers, On the Brink. This country does a pitiful job taking care of its mothers. #taxtherich #providefreechildcare
Just a quick note to end on. I was blown away by the response to last week’s piece, which was almost entirely positive, and started a lot of really interesting conversations. On Facebook someone pointed out that Modern Orthodox Judaism is more of a sociological group than a religious one, which explains why many people’s views in the community tend to resemble those of other wealthy white people. A rabbi reached out to me to say that the current pulpit system we have makes rabbis afraid to challenge the communities that pay their bills and so they tell them what they want to hear. A friend’s mom reached out with countless more examples of hypocrisy in the frum community.
And while there’s clearly work to be done, the responses did give me hope — that there are lots of people who feel the same way I do, and that those are the people I’ll be building a community with together.